Jr. High Winter Camp

I feel like this is going to be one of those weeks where I either bust out 5 posts or ignore it altogether.

This weekend...was AMAZING! I was a little apprehensive about being the only leader in a cabin of 12 7th grade girls now that Bekah moved south(most cabins had two for the tag team effect. I have been saying I love my girls for a long time now. I had no idea what I was talking about. I can't even explain it. I LOVE LOVE LOVE them so much. They are so deep in my heart. Almost every time my working with the jr highers comes up it's the same reaction, "Oh! Jr. High! What a trooper you are that is such an awful and awkward age!" People underestimate them all the time. Jr high is an incredible age that can be very defining. The way I see it is that up until that point you are pretty much what your parents make you to be. But in jr. high you start choosing who you want to be. And you make those choices by what you see around you and think, "Oh that's cool. I want to be like ___." So by being in their lives at such a pivtol (sp? sorry type A's) point, you have such an opportunity. I realized that this weekend. How incredibly important it really is. How much weight I have and pull. The ability I have to "write on their hearts" as Paul talks about in his epistles. So many good talks. So many times of prayer. A little refereeing. Lots of singing. Lots of dancing. Lots of laughing. Lots of crazy. And so much love.

I can't explain how much I love that group of girls. To steal Brent Lamb's phrase once again...I'd fight hell with a water pistol for them. I love their hearts. I love their love. I love being there and helping them and praying with them and helping them know Jesus. I love watching them grow and learn. I love watching them know how to communicate and love each other like a family. I love helping them know how to make it a safe environment for everyone and to include everyone. I am so...so proud of them. I am seriously reconsidering next year. That will be another post. I don't want this to be my decision. I give up that right. I count it all as loss to gain the more. There is freedom in surrender. I refuse to live by my own agenda. So the waiting game plays on...

Back on topic...and not just my girls. I got to know the other leaders a lot more. The girls road together on the way up because of lack of room on the bus. We talked and advised each other and good ways to get through and handle the girls. We prayed for the weekend and each other. And we shared our testimony. I was emotionally drained by the time We ate lunch on the road...I don't know why I still struggle giving my testimony. I just hate feeling so exposed and vulnerable. But it's good. Our relationship with God should be intensely personal but not as private. It was good. And seeing everyone love on the kids and working together...I love my team I do ministry with. And Christian...he is so good at his job. After getting to know him, I am confident there is not a better man for that job. What a priviledge to serve under him. His wife drove and when she told their story as part of her testimony...it only made me respect them both more. I also just love how it all functions, the way the Well does everything. Some of the people I had served with I liked, but to be honest...annoyed me a little. There are few types of people that I'd rather not be around a lot, and I felt like that towards a couple leaders. I could kick myself. I love them. I love their hearts. I generally take pride in the fact I just love all sorts of people. All types and interests...figuring out who they are and their hearts and what drives them...really just appreciating them for who they are and what they bring to the table...except for a few types. But you know what? I just need to get over myself. I realized that all over again this week. I love them. I love their hearts. I love them because they are part of the body of Christ. That sounds like I'm saying I love them out of obligation...I'm not. I just truly love them. And I look at the body through a different lens now. Praise the Lord for softening my prideful, judgemental, little heart once again. I'm thankful for them now. And it makes me sick to think of how I used to look at them.

Overall, I just feel so priviledged to serve with the girls I do, with the team I do, and under the people I do. It is just incredible. No complaints. Only praises. I am just so, so grateful. All glory, honor, and praise to Him. He is good. And I am thankful. Sigh. I don't even know how to get it across in words how much I love them and being a part of it all. Man oh man. Stolen my heart for sure.