MIA Writings Part 2

Annndddd here is one of the really scary ones. This is actually one of the first things I really wrote and finished. Not a blog or journal entry or letter. I start a lot of things and finish none of them. This may be the first. It's rough around the edges for sure. The English major in me wants to go edit and restructure and cut things out that don't flow. But I don't want to lose the place I wrote it from. I want the messiness of it because that is where I was. I wrote this after a really long few months of striving non stop and just taking a day off because I was struggling to believe...a lot of basic things. I went to the park and stayed there until He hit me with the realization He loves me like I never knew before. I read Psalms 18 and it was spoken directly to me. His heart for His people. His hurt in seeing them hurting and being lost. His desire to go save them. His yearning for them to call to Him. His wrath and fury at the oppressors of those He loves. And His pleasure in delivering them. He then made clear to me that the whole bible basically says the same story. I was stunned. So I wrote.

Part I wrote before I read that. Part after.

Yay for being vulnerable. Here we go.

Because of love. Because of Love.

Desperation sets in.
If they could only see you now.
Even the smallest candle is now a smoking wick.
Snuffed out and taking the light with it.
Cold and shaky.
Weighed down and struggling for breath.
Strength has long since slipped away. Joy is a faded memory.
When did that even happen?
And if you don’t remember, then how long was it an illusion?
Something you fought for and strove to create?
It hurts to swallow. Eyes are glued to the floor. You don’t dare look up.
It wasn’t supposed to go this way.
Heart heavy. Shoulders are sore.
But still you try. Fleeting attempts to regain ground.
But your dancing is confined to a box. It limits every move you make.
Every stretch. Ever extension. Every twirl and leap.
With every struggle the hold tightens and restricts you further.
Almost as if to laugh at your attempt and gumption to actually try and free yourself. Knocked down with a thud and the resounding fact that you have failed rings true in your ears.
Weak and poor. Nothing to offer but need.
Ashamed and broken.
But there is hope.
Gather what’s left of your strength and lift up your head.
Help me.
Oh Jesus. Help me!
Come to my rescue, my Savior, My God.
I don’t deserve it. Unfaithful and halfhearted at best.
I am sorry. But please,
Help me.

From your quivering lips to His heavenly ear. He’s been waiting. He waits to be gracious. Don’t you know that? Dear Loved Child of His. Listen up! Incline your ear and DO NOT MISS THIS. These words are true and meant for you. This is your story. Don’t you know? His beloved needs a rescue. Furious at the enemies lies. Furious at the captivity and distress it creates. Furious at all the things it takes from you. Things you don’t even know about because He can’t give them to you if you don’t let Him. Furious at what the counterfeit affections have ravaged on your heart. Majestic and Holy He shakes the heavens with His response. Fire and Brimstone, Lightening and Thunder He unleashes wrath on what gets in His way. Smoke from His nostrils and fury in every step, destroying whatever is in His path between Himself and His Beloved. Ripping apart the walls and causes of distresses. Bearing the shame and guilt. How dare they. How dare they! Ripping the hold. Taking the burden and setting us free. But there is a price to pay. Swallow hard. By His wounds we are healed. By His stripes we receive salvation. Because of love. Hear me now. BECAUSE OF LOVE. Not because of us. Do you get that? Of course you cannot lose it. It was never in your control to gain to begin with. Furious at what the enemy has made it. Furious about His beloved and precious bride settling and hurting. He rescued us. He rescues us. He unleashes righteous anger and rage at what is destroying us and all His best intentions for us. Just be with Him. Just love Him. Just look to Him. Let Him be everything to You. All He wants is to love us and be loved in return. To give us more than we could ever want.

Do you know it doesn’t end there? He paid the price. You, His dear one, have been ransomed. The price is paid. He doesn’t leave you there wounded and broken after dealing with the source of this wretched filth and setting you free from it’s grasp. He gathers you up. He broods over you and covers you with His wings. He gathers you in His arms and holds you still. If you let Him. With your freedom, if you so choose, He will heal your wounds. Restore the years lost. Make good. Bring life back to you. breathe hope and life and love into your heart. It’s a love that changes. Oh love, you will never be the same!

He does it in Eden. He does it when He called the children out of Egypt. Through sacrifices and offerings He does it again. He did it in the wilderness. He did it in the good land. He did it through the judges and kings. He did it during His life and He’s done it ever since. Settings and people have changed but the story is always the same. You are His loved one. Chosen by Him to bear His image. He rejoices in you and loves you jealously because you are His. He sings over you and delights in You because You are His. You are His because He desired you and planned and purposed for you before the foundations of the world. He has intentions and wants for you. The best of the best. Everything and more. He created you. And then He fought for you. He ransomed and redeemed you. He loved you as a harlot bride. Relentlessly pursuing you. Faithful with an everlasting love. Nothing can separate you from that love. Nothing can change who you are or what He has done for you. Who you are to Him. Don’t you know dear beloved? Whoever touches you, touches the apple of His eye.


What a precious God. That is my God. That is my Love. That is my Husband. That is my Savior. My Master. My Hope. My Deliverer. My Supply. My Strength. My Comfort. My Rest. My Dwelling Place. My Father. My Provider. My Peace. My Rock. My everything. More than enough and all I need. He is Jesus. He is mine because I am His. He bought me with a price. He ransomed me with Himself. He paid the debt and set me free from all the biting lies and hopelessness and suffocations of the world. What else is there but to be His? Joy washes over me.