Future, Character, and Loving His Appearing

Maybe I'm just gun shy and paranoid after the last two years....but I almost feel like I'm watching my game plan fall apart before a year into it. The world that was so open with so many options and paths to pick from....suddenly feels a bit boxy. Alright, really boxy. I really need to stop saying, "I will never go ____."

But you know what? It is just okay. I know it's more than okay. But in the midst of it all, I feel okay, like I can finally rest in the palm of the One who already knows it all. I'm safe.

I am reading a lot of verses that talk about "loving His appearing." When the Lord appears to me (whether in speaking, conscience nudging, or whatever...) I do love it. I love that He cares and is faithful. But do I really value it enough to run after it with everything I am?...do I center my day around looking for His appearing? His face in the ones I walk by? His heart in the environments I am in and watch others in? How He deals with people? His words? His personality in His creation? How His artistic hand is a reflection of who He is? and on and on and on.

I am also still being daily kicked in the gut by reading through Nehemiah, Joseph's story, Daniel, Men in my family, and Tebow and their character. Yes, I am sure some of you just laughed out loud. Go ahead, I can live with that. But honestly, realizing the character of these men. Particularly those in the bible. Yet also how the men in my family have stood up and their character in the small things. How Tebow handles fame and scrutiny with complete humility, servants heart, and character in leadership...it just makes me want to be a better person. For the glory of God. For purposes greater than being noticed and feeling good about myself. I want to love being unknown. I want to serve quietly, with all my heart.

And it's pretty humbling to have your muslim friend show more discipline and character than you and call you out on your lack. Praise the Lord for His mercy.