pointless ramblings about my day

As I said last night, I'm pretty darn busy this week. The Well (my church), had a "Vision Night." Basically, it was just a meeting showing the direction the Church was taking and what they were expanding on to accomodate needs and what they were doing with the tithing etc....so many good things going on and ways of doing it. All the more confirmation whatever is going on at The Well is so, so good and healthy. I love it more every time I'm there (which is almost twice a day at this point).....that is besides the point.

Anyway, when I was leaving it was my favorite part of the day. Early summer evening, starting to get dark, and air cooling with a warm breeze. And I looked up and prayed, "Lord, how I would love to just be able to enjoy this evening, weather, and soak in Your presence and spending time with You."....and then it hit me. Despite my busyness and load of responsibilities, I can. He will never leave me nor forsake me and I can abide in Him and take joy while studying, reading, driving, in class...all of it.

I also am really looking forward to my visit to Vanguard this weekend. Slightly dissappointed because I found out I won't be able to spend Friday there because now we are leaving around 5 p.m. instead of 8 a.m....but even thinking about seeing my friends had my dancing in circles in my room and beaming while walking around the house. I also thought of how haed leaving is going to be at the end of the weekend and started tearing up just thinking about how hard it is going to be to say goodbye physically. So much easier telling them I'm leaving VU over the internet or phone...this will probably make it even more tangible.

I also realized today while looking through a new friends facebook and thinking about why I am not able to be confident at the well, sometimes with my cousins, or at my old high school, like I am at VU, school at Willow, and so many other places....and I realized the thing they all have in common is my brothers. Wherever my brothers are known, especially known first, I get insecure and worried about impressing people. If everyone has not met my brothers, I couldn't care less about impressing people and am totally confident just being me. I should probably disect and figure out what that actually means....