Last night I read the last chapter of Hebrews and the first chapter of James I also listened to an incredible message by Grahm Cooke on why the wounded... something....?
I need to let the Lord have His way in me. In every aspect. I need to learn things and deal with character flaws. I need to go through the process and allow myself to be changed and broken. I want to submit to His authority, recognize His dealings, and embrace them. If I do not heed the word of the Lord. If I do not become a doer of the word, not just a hearer, I will not be developed like He is trying to develop me. As I have said before, I have been dreaming some pretty big things lately, I want an adventure of a ministry for Him and His glory. I want to be fully given. But man destroys with his character what he has built with his gifts if he hasn't recognized the dealings of God and submitted to them and let them change him.
This is where I am at. I can feel myself battling for my ministry even now, though I have no idea what it is. I need to learn diligence. I need to learn to rest. I need to not put off until tomorrow what I could get done today. If I am to know Him, I need to give Him time. These are the areas He has shed His precious light on me of late. Whether a big family, working with teenagers, adoption and foster kids, or whatever else is in my future, I am battling its effectiveness today. Today I choose to die to self, to give it all up and count it all as loss that I might gain the more. May He do this in me. I commit my way and trust in Him and He will act. I don't even know how to do the things I want to do, submitting, and dying, and humbling myself under His hand but He is faithful and I will just call on His name until I see His appearing.
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