FINALLY!!!!

Lots has changed. In one weekend. Simple truths finally accepted change my scope I live life from. That will come in a later blog when I have more time. Basically, I just finally really get that He loves me. I'm His beloved. Did you know that? I am. Cherished and desired. Delighted in. Ransomed. Chosen. His treasure and dearly loved child. That is my identity. That is my worth. That is my value. And I KNOW it. And none of those last three things depend on my relationships with people or successes in life etc. I have had glimpses of this before but the shelf life was always at most, two days. Usually more like an hour. i.e. last post about last Sunday's message. But after last weeks...breakdown? mmm. I don't know how to phrase it...I'll explain later. Sort of like going on empty for a really long time then hitting a brick wall on Friday and Saturday doing something about it. And Saturday I spent four hours with Jesus in the park and the result is I know I am loved.

And the shelf life is longer than an hour or when the next punch comes in. It withstood two already.

I walked out to my car and found that someone had hit it leaving a fat dent on my right side and took off without saying anything. I just looked at it and thought to myself. Ya know, if my God hadn't been so darn sweet to me the last two days this really would have bothered me. But it doesn't. It's a car. And besides, HE LOVES ME. It doesn't even compare or matter. I wasn't even disappointed.

And even bigger....actually I just wrote it out and then deleted it. Doesn't matter and a couple people that read this would be able to figure out all the who's and I'm not really about using this as any form of gossip. SOOO point is something that would have normally really knocked my little world off it's axis didn't. Not even slightly. Not even a blimp or a skip. Because HE LOVES ME. That is my security and worth and validation and everything really.

And good choice self on editing that out. I feel good about it. But it was fun writing it all out and remembering I am a fiesty little spitfire. Hello backbone. You are back with a vengeance. My Goetz is showing. Brother...that was for your benefit. It's back:) haha.

P.S. and you know what one of the byproducts of this all is? Confidence. But more importantly, finally accepting myself. Really accepting myself for who I am. Designed strengths. Designed weaknesses. All of it. I am okay. I'm great. Other people's opinions don't matter. Mine don't matter. One of my favorite songs of late is a Miranda Lambert one that has this line in it that has been my anthem all day, "My step is sure and I know my name, I'm strong just like you prayed I'd be. Yeah, I'm strong just like you prayed I'd be."