3 weeks in a nutshell

Get ready for a long one....I want some of this recorded where I can't lose it (internet) so just warning.

Pretty recently after my last update God got a hold of me. In the midst of a broken down car, school finances in question, confirmation of zero aid in the form of grants or scholarships, family stuff, and friend stuff....workaholic Hannah met with Jesus. There is a park across the street from my house with bleachers I go sit on. Long story somewhat shorter, I went out there and just talked to God. The honest prayers. Not the ones that are scripted, saying what you are supposed too prayers. And I saw a giant shooting star. GIANT. Immediately thought of the one I saw the night before I moved to VU instead of Fresno when I said all or nothing, and I'm all in and I felt God say DONE in the form of a star. I know it's cheesy and fishy and touchy feely but I just know God met me. I brushed off the new shooting star and decided if God was speaking, He'd do it three times. The following night I was in bed and got a call from one of my younger girls from back home and soon enough was back out in the park and saw another one! I went inside and looked up what a shooting star even was. I am probably the only person who didn't already know it was debris burning up in the earth's atmosphere, same as a meteor. The next day my friend had invited me to Austin for and Owl City concert for my birthday. I had no car. I needed money. I had no funds besides ones set aside already for specific expenses. But a friend loaned me her car and I went anyway. Getting away was needed. A long country drive. An interesting city. And live music is just good for my soul. I forgot that sometimes you just need to do things you enjoy because it's good for you, not because you have too. I realized there would be no way to see a third star when I headed into the theatre for the concert. I felt myself unwind and finally breathe as I listened to the first band. Into the second and when Owl City started playing I started letting go. And feeling inspired. And enjoying life. It was wonderful. And then I recognized the opening chords to my VERY FAVORITE OWL CITY SONG. Never expected it to make the set list. It's not a single. It's short. And it doesn't stick out. Halfway down the track list of an old CD. I love it because it's straight scripture and prayer. It has a pretty intro and simply repeats," I can finally see that You are right here beside me. I am not my own. I have been made new. Please don't let me go. I desperately need You," three times. By round two of that verse I had my arms high and was singing it to Jesus. And as he started singing it for the third time it hit me. The title of the song is Meteor Shower. WHATTTT. I flipped. I knew it was for me. I have no idea why that is the title, no idea why I looked it up. But in my heart I am convinced that that was for me. And it was my third star. And that it was God saying, "I've got you. I've got this." And i know that it was Him saying that this is where He has me. Right here, for right now. He confirmed that. And that it's what He is doing. And if it's what He is doing than He will make a way. I'm learning. Learning to rest. Learning to not let work and money and responsibilities to control me but rather to pray about stewarding them well.

Then I hit Impact. What a week. LOVE my team I serve with. LOVE my freshmen. Dealt with little princess who walked up to me day one and said, "I hate it here. I don't want to be here. I hate all of this. I'm not a camp person. This is dumb. This is like high school. It's not good for me." Prayed like crazy. Watched God move. Watched God affect people. Had good conversations. Shared literally all my darkest crap with six of my freshmen and was exposed. And we can have conversations now. And it's great. Little princess gave me a note the last night about how God used this week and how much she loved it etc. WINNING. Go God. No but really. My partner led well. That kid is a man among boys when it comes to walking with God. It's honestly weird being partnered with someone who can spiritually lead and does. It's awesome. God did incredible things and I'm thankful to be a part of it and be intentional and keep investing in my girls. And my team I serve with. That week put a lot in perspective with me about realizing what life is really about and how everything is just a vessel to glorify the Lord and make Him known and opportunities to share Him and the gospel. So I pray for that before school and work now. And random conversations happen with a girl I'm training and a girl I sat next to in class etc etc. It's an adventure for sure.


Last week was Gig Em week. The welcome week before classes start where everyone is back in town waiting for school to start and enjoying lots of free things and events on campus. Also means our freshmen are brand spanking new to everything and need planned hang outs to meet people and not feel lonely. So I worked some and hung out non stop with my camp. It was really good. And in the middle of our dance party on the top of the tallest parking garage I noticed Caleb, my partner, had a missed call from the guy in our BG that we had watched God rock the most. He pulled me off the dance floor and once we were away fell to the ground bawling and handed me the phone. I listened to the voicemail and went into shock and immediately started praying for Pierce and Caleb as he cried. I hate those five minutes. Because I was shocked and didn't get it and went into a scripted prayer when I hate that. It wasn't honest. Pierce had been in a skateboarding accident that gave him a fractured skull, internal bleeding in his brain that they couldn't stop and was rushed to the ICU. We weren't sure he was going to be okay. Our camp pulled out of the dance party and we all prayed together. Caleb and I were going to head straight to his hometown to go be in the hospital but after talking to his dad decided to hold back for a while until we knew more so we wouldn't crowd the family. We gathered to pray at Caleb's and were going to pray all through the night. It reminded me of Marc. And finally it hit. And we just cried and prayed. And within a half hour over 40-50 people were gathered at Caleb's living room praying. We broke into small groups and prayed and prayed and prayed. And about 4 hours later got news they were able to stop the bleeding and immediate brain surgery wasn't necessary yet and they thought he would make it. We had some praise and worship and talking and more prayer before parting ways at around 530 am. five days later Pierce is finally brought out of sedation without violence and trauma and fighting everyone. He is responsive and his vitals are spot on. And although he is out of it, they expect almost full recovery. The next couple days were long. We were together for a lot of it. And incredible conversations have happened with counselors and freshmen walking through hard stuff like if God does what He wants why pray, and why didn't He save my dad/uncle/best friend but He saved Pierce. Bitterness. Recognizing what matters. Being all in. Realizing school is meant to be ablout a lot more than grades and learning. And that all things can be a vessel for glorifying God and making Him known.

It's weird being in leadership for this. Everyone is looking to me and Caleb. We didn't sleep that night and hardly slept the next. We walked through this with our freshmen in every sense of the statement. This past couple weeks, and especially since Pierce, has been all about pouring into the freshmen and walking through this with them and wrestling together with questions and learning what it means to find God in this and what He is doing and be a part of that instead of fight it. And to allow Him to have His way. And it's been long. And I'd hate to do it over again. But incredible things have happened. And the body of Christ at A&M BLEW ME AWAY. SO many people showed up to pray, or gathered for prayer on their own or told everyone. Hundreds and hundreds of Aggies stopped to pray on their own or with us. Ones not even connected with Impact and didn't know Pierce or us. They just heard and prayed. Already so many in our camp are affected. His friends skateboarding with him were as well. His church body back home was. Foreigners that didn't ever pray before that night prayed for the first time and are now asking about God. He was and will continue to be glorified through all this. Caleb and I are headed to Plano to go visit him this weekend. Amazed and humbled.

To wrap it up, today was my first day as a full time Aggie after 12 years of waiting. I love it here. I love my school and student body. I love the heart and hospitality and community. I love the body of Christ here. I just went to an on campus bible study that abotu 9,700 other aggies decided to attend as well. I love where He has me and I want to be about His business here. I want to steward well. I want to lead well and lead dependent on Him. Community is rich, it is good, and it exposes and deals with us. I'm walking through my own issues. And it's all really good.

Praise the Lord. He has got this. He has got me.

No other place I'd rather be.


"I can finally see, that You're right here beside me. I am not my own. I have been made new. Please don't let me go. I desperately need You."